Benicio Del Toro at The Cannes Film Festival:

VIDEO BELOW

At this point in my life I guess there’s a fairly good chance I’ll never be famous, rich, content, liked-by-many, sober, smart, handy around the house, well-dressed, desirable, a doctor, the third member of WHAM!, asked to a party for any reason other than to serve drinks and help clean-up, comfortable, or witty.

But hey, who’s perfect?

I feel like now is the right time for me to take a profound step on my journey of personal growth and acknowledge a few negligible imperfections.

Why?

Because I’m competing for my wife’s affections, that’s why, and in order to improve my chances of winning I think I should first recognize one or two minor shortcomings so that I can move forward and become a better man.

With whom am I competing (you may be asking yourself in perfectly irritating proper English)?

Benicio del Toro.

Ever since my wife and I spotted Benicio del Toro (what does that mean anyway, Benicio of the Bull?) at the Cannes Film Festival earlier this year I know she’s been thinking about him.

A lot.

She won’t acknowledge it but I know she knows I know.

I can feel it.

Of the Bull feels it too.

I’m certain.

That’s why I’m taking this bullfight public.

Check out the video I took outside the Hotel Martinez in Cannes.

Top Gear In The South Of France: The World’s Best Driving Road?

Click here for information on Le Stuff’s French Riviera Mini Cooper Driving Adventure!

To tell you that I know my way around an automobile engine would be like telling you Michael Jackson had all the skills needed to become a champion prize fighter.

In other words, I’d be lying.

My scope of mechanical expertise ends with my crackerjack ability to discern, within seconds mind you, whether the vehicle I’m piloting has a gas or diesel engine.

The point I’m trying to illustrate here is that you don’t have to be a gear head, love cars and driving, or even have a driver’s license, to enjoy what may possibly be the finest television show ever made.

BBC’s Top Gear begins its 15th season this year.

Ostensibly about cars, driving and speed, TG is really about the interaction between the show’s three hosts, Jeremy Clarkson, James May, and Richard Hammond.

A few of my favorite episodes?

Amuse Bouche

amuse-bouche –  a small, savory portion of food served before a meal, typically without charge at restaurants

I know it’s not much, but it’s the thought that counts.

An amuse bouche is an “offering” from the chef.  I like to think of it as a little thank you for coming in.

Amuse-bouche means literally

French Dining Etiquette: Both Hands on the Table Mister!

When dining in France I try to remember to keep both hands visible.

This, I’ve been told more than once, is very important.

Sometimes I forget because it’s in direct contrast to the way I’ve eaten my entire life. In the States we’re taught to place the non-dominant hand in our lap unless it’s being used to help with cutting meat, buttering bread, etc.

In France, though, it’s considered impolite and even weird to do this.

I once asked a French friend why and was surprised by her response.

The conversation went something like this:

Me: “Why is it so important to have both hands visible when dining in France?”